8/21/2008
noone but me from URL @ 12:59 AM
If i said Good Morning,
On monday i learnt something during lit, nothing to do with lit btw.
Its called, "subconscious streams of thoughts". You'd have had it too, when your thoughts just flow one after the other, seemingly never-ending. You start thinking about a hole in your shoe & find yourself thinking about wth you're thinking about when you're thinking about rainbows. Geddit? Haha. I get that a lot i realise.
Sometimes it annoys the hell out of me cos i don't want to be thinking about the stuff im thinking, but other times its strangely comforting; in the sense that, in that world its just me, my thoughts and i.
This post will be one of them, im guessing.
Which means, yeah long.
Simplest joys. I realise that nowadays i live for the simplest joys and don't go chasing after great things anymore. Like, say, school. (Perhaps the smallest of all simplest joys, aha)
Meeting suzy otw to school with her incessant amusing chatter spares me the morning blues.
Seeing the back of adlin's head in the row of my classmates ahead of me makes me feel, safe.
Getting messages from different people during the day makes me smile.
Bumping into vj4i cmates never fails to make me wave at them like a cacat freak.
(Oh & the past two days marly & sher have been lovely! Like yest, marly sent me a brownie supposedly from a secret admirer but i knew right away it was her & today sher sent me a notebook again supposedly from a secret admirer as well but i knew it was her too. The notebook had random sweet stuff in it and all :) sher, i named the notebook poogerloo! (poohtigger&loo from yr surname!) HAHA. Thank you, you two! such darrrlinggssss!)
Which leads me to think about God's blessings. Its like, He always knows. I wasn't having a particularly good week this week and random stuff like what sher & marly did, small as they may seem, meant the world to me; like He knew that i wasn't too happy and that what my friends did would cheer me up.
Plus the conversation with adlin. You know sometimes when you have a lot going on, you really just want to sit down and talk about nothing & yet everything? The comfort and peace of mind you get having these kind of conversations; well, you cant do that with just any friend and again He's blessed me with someone precious. Thank you adlinf!
& then the person whom you call when you're troubled, when He doesn't give you the answers you want straight away and you need reassurance while waiting; this person who tells you that it wont be easy so you gotta be strong- exactly what you needed to hear when you were feeling the way you felt. Thank you, You.
But you know that He always provides in the end, sending angels inbetween just to make sure you're alright while you get to the end. & These angels, well they're not just specific people. I think they're just wonderful people called friends. :) Not just the above mentioned, but you know who you are my dears. Thank You & Thank You Jesus.
& then i think about all the people i miss. All these angles i havent met for so long. I wonder how they're doing and all. It makes me quite sad to see them tired out, or read about them being tired out, stressed, upset and not be able to do anything to, you know, spare them? So i message hoping that it'd put a smile on their face just for that second or two.
& i then i think about how i like to people watch. I like looking at people, reading their facial expressions. I like it best when people start smiling to their phones, or people who seem to be stoning but then start breaking into the smallest of smiles. It makes me feel happy for them that they're happy.
& then i think about happiness. About how we all can be happy if we just look for it in the right places, which we often don't do. & i think about how people let someone else's happiness affect them the way it does. Like, sometimes you know that certain things mean a lot to certain people. So why dont you go out of your way to do those things that make them happy? Like why do people in desperate times think only of their state of affairs and how they need to help themselves, when they can take a moment to help someone else who needs their help too. Like yes, well im sure your world means a lot to you, but why not take a step outside into someone else's world and see the difference it could make? Well, our world's the most comfortable i know. I fall victim to being selfish as well.
I think about why people think the way they do.
Sometimes we think about the past and wonder what would have happened if a particular something else hadn't. Would we be where we were today? What would tomorrow have been like? & then you realise that well, the things that happen in the past all happened for a reason; the today you live is the today that you were meant to live. What you're going through now, is what you're supposed to be going through and as tough as it may be, you know you can't go back in time to change your course of life. Its your yesterday that made today and your today that makes tomorrow; and i guess it all sums up what your life's gna be like.
I suppose some things happen to you and not someone else because you're stronger. Someone else might have snapped, but you don't. You're meant to go through it, emerge victorious and then share what the secret of your strength was.
But well. I suppose one of life's harshest lessons would be that pertaining to regrets & in turn choices. Can't do anything about it now but just look back, and think where we made the wrong choice and make sure we never do it again.
Im not particularly coherent cos i have a multitude of thoughts running through my mind right now. Some selfish, some noble. Some stupid and yet some so real that it scares me. Sometimes I wonder how humans can hold all these contrasting thoughts in our minds simultaneously. Mental yeah, but if you were to represent it physically it'd be like, running and flying at the same time. Okay, which serves to justfiy that it's all in the mind.
Thoughts, ah well.
I find them so intriguing.
I think im really going to wind up a psychologist.
& perhaps mad as well. Oh well.
-
Im really not in a bad mood! Haha, pensieve? Perhaps.
Anyway, Orienteering later! :D
Meeting Holmezz & RoopiBoopi! :D
would it really make your morning good?
face down in the dirt,
she says 'this doesnt hurt',
she says,
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